As you all know Addi and the kids have been living with us. It’s been over two years now. Well after many laughs, fights, tears, and prayers she has finally moved out! Rose has her room back and her bathroom! She has been working hard to get everything just the way she likes it! The one hard part of this change is now I’m back to buying the groceries. It’s been over a year and a half since I’ve done that. Addi didn’t pay rent or anything like that. She did have one bill that she paid and she took over the grocery shopping. Which for six people is a lot! And as grateful and thankful as I am it’s going to be an adjustment for sure. She was a big help. It was just getting overcrowded and differences were getting out of control.
Rose was always the one getting yelled at. The baby would take things from her room and it would be her fault for not putting it away. He would reach up on the bar and get her things she would take out of her backpack and it was her fault. Although I would tell him everyday not to touch things that wasn’t his. I would get snapped at that he’s only three and doesn’t understand. Gee…I’m sorry I only have over a hundred hours in Early Childhood Development classes and have worked with his age group for five years! Yes he does understand and he’s not too young to learn rules and how to mind! Addi’s oldest son was taught to mind and was disciplined so I don’t know why the little one doesn’t have to be taught the same thing. It was beginning to cause big issues. And like normal Clayton wouldn’t let me talk to him about it. Addi can’t do anything wrong and he won’t go against her but knows that he shouldn’t go against his wife either. Every time I would redirect the baby he would run out of the room screaming and as kids do not tell the whole story. It was just getting to be a nightmare. Which comes when you don’t discipline.
Kids crave structure, and routine. You have to teach them that early. Well you don’t have to I guess but it sure does help. When you let them run around and do whatever they want and just yell at them when you’ve had enough you’re not teaching them anything. That’s what she does. I used to tell the baby not to reach up around the stove. He actually turned the stove on once by accident due to him reaching up. Not once would anyone back me up. They just ignored me telling him this. It kept going on and on and I kept repeating myself. There was no “listen to what you’re told” no nothing. Well guess what! Because Addi never made him mind me he reached up and touched the burner and burned two fingers. All she did was yell at him not to cry because he knew better. But did he know better? I mean when you have one person telling you not to do something or you’re going to get hurt and one person allowing you to do whatever and not teaching you things. Do you really know that you’re going to get hurt? It was like this all day everyday! We all had enough!
God does answer prayers! He knows when the time is right! And the time was right! There are some other big changes that I’m praying for God’s Will to be done! And I know my Savior hears me and has every intention to answer in the way He knows is best for me and Rose! Yesterday some anxiety was trying to creep it’s way in! I had to call a friend’s meeting with Elaine and Michelle. Now it kept getting interrupted so we didn’t get to talk a lot about what I was feeling. I’m hoping to be able to talk with them later. Anyway, ‘ol satan was trying to work a number on me! I haven’t been on my own since maybe 1998. I’ve always had help with the kids, paying the bills and buying the food. Reality was starting to take over and I wanted to freak out about having to start over once God removes Clayton from my life. God has started answering my prayers by getting Addi out of the house. So now I’m like what’s next? I’ve prayed for so many things to make a better life for me and Rose. And even though I say I’m ready, what if I’m not!!
So, as I was thinking about all of this and how I was feeling about it all. I started talking to Papa God and He revealed to me, that He would never just leave me to fend for myself! He revealed to me that why would He not make sure that I’m prepared for being on my own. Why would my Father who has been by my side this whole time listening and watching just leave me to do this next step alone? Well….He wouldn’t! God will make sure that I’m mentally and financially ready for the next prayer to be answered! While it is hard for me to get readjusted to having to buy groceries, I do pay bills. So, it’s not like I’m just moving out from my parents and just starting out! I’ve been doing this awhile.
If you’re in a situation like mine if you already pray keep going don’t stop! If you don’t pray and know God then start! It’s never ever too late! He’s there waiting for you to take the first step! So don’t wait!
