Turn the light off or I’ll take your phone! I told you not to pack my clothes! You can’t leave this house until the weeds are pulled! It’s never ending around here! Rose walks in a room and turns a light on and all hell breaks loose! We try to make plans for the weekend again all hell breaks loose! We are getting ready for vacation and I while I had the suitcase open I thought well I’ll put the shorts Clayton doesn’t wear except when we are on vacation and all hell broke loose! I get dirty looks for hours over it! Rose walked into the kitchen and no she really didn’t need the overhead light on (the light above the sink was on) but he lost his mind! I popped off and told her to turn it off I’ll cook the cookies in the dark! Which mad Clayton even angrier!
I told Clayton that there was a new show opening and Rose and I want to be there for the very first showing. We want to be able to say “Hey I was there the first day it debut and saw the very first one”. I don’t understand why we can’t. Clayton lost his mind over that. Saying that there are rides to be ridden and the shows can wait. Umm…the rides are there all day too! It comes down to this, it’s not what he wants to do! Because Rose and I want something then he is against it! All of this made his chest hurt and he blamed me, he has to try his clothes on but won’t because I asked him two weeks ago so I could pack. He thinks whenever he does something that I ask him to, it makes him my bitch! No sir it makes you a loving husband!
Fast forward to the next weekend, where all he did was talk hateful me to me. Friday night Rose had a friend over and he wanted to fight about my car. He vacuumed it out and there’s dog hair in it. We have three adorable beagles and they are always on me. There is hair everywhere. I wear leggings and sweat pants and slippers and so it sticks to me and it also falls off of me. He fought with me all night! I can’t help it! I don’t just sweep it up and go throw it in my car! Our grandson has been coming over on the weekends to help mow the yard. We have to push mow the front the ride mower is down. Neither one of us can really do it. Getting old sucks! Anyway, he couldn’t come over and that’s fine I get out there and I mow the back yard it’s not hard it’s in sections. I go out front, I open the gate, I empty the mower bag in a trash sack. I went in for a drink and to cool down. Clayton starts being hateful about how he has to get up and move his truck because he’s not going to let me mow around it.
I just ignore him and I go out and start on the front. I mowed half of it and got way too hot and was just about to fall out. I came in to cool down and get a drink. I told him that I may not finish the yard. It’s just to hot and I’m having a hard time. He starts in about how it has to get done. Again I just ignored him! Saturday morning’s devotion was from 1 Peter 2:23 “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” NIV. I kept thinking about this verse all day. All weekend really. I went back out to finish. Having a heat stroke was better than listening to him! I go out and push through. Emptying the mower bag and using my hand along with lifting the mower up and down to get the extra mulch out of it so I can re-mow that and it out of the yard. I finish up and tie the bag up and put it in the trash. I push the mower though the gate and lock it back. I put the mower away and I’m hot and tired but I’m proud I pushed through!
This man, had the nerve to grip at me because I got some grass on the driveway!!! I had to push the mower across the drive to mow the other side! I undid the bag in the grass! He is really sitting there telling me that I didn’t do it right!!! I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said ” I’m sorry nothing I do is good enough for you! I’m sorry that I went out there and got the years done without him coming out to help me with the clippings or making sure I was just okay and just simply bringing me a drink!” He had the nerve to say”It’s okay, I trained our grandson how to do it I’ll train you!!!” I just sat there with tears rolling down my face! Then he says we have to go out and wash your car now. Unbelievable!!
After I cooled down I went out and started getting everything ready to wash the car. I did the tires that’s all I can do correctly by his standards I tried to rinse the car but I didn’t do that right either! We finally got done and I was so glad. Sunday got here and we barely spoke. I spent like three hours in a different room. I didn’t go to church I’m trying to get us and the house ready for vacation. Clayton is just being hateful. I washed a load of towels and for his standards I overloaded the washer and it leaked water and that made him mad, I tried to wash Rose’s comforter and he throw a fit about the washer leaking water so I didn’t wash it. I told him that ours needed washed but I guess our grandson will have to bring his own because I’m not letting him sleep on dirty bedding. Our grandson is watching the dogs and the house while we are gone. Well Clayton just stayed mad! I was in the bathroom getting ready for Rose’s last volleyball game. He finally decides to try on the shirts I got him for the trip. I can hear him mumbling and just being awful.
I asked him how it’s going, he’s like it’s fine. I said “I don’t know why you are being so hateful! I’ve done nothing to you!” He’s reply is simply ” stop running your mouth”. I told him that he has been just down right mean all weekend and I didn’t understand, he again reply’s with “there ya go again, just keep running that mouth. I was in tears at this point. I pull it together and get some makeup on. I go in closet to get a shirt and he was mumbling about something, and again I made the commit about how awful he has been this weekend, and again his reply is “you just can’t stop running that mouth can you?” I just said ” I just don’t understand”. I started packing his clothes and he’s laying on the bed just continuing to talk awfully, he even told me that my bad attitude was why he had one! I haven’t done anything. I was in another room, I wasn’t even talking to you! And I haven’t talked hatefully to you yet! I just had to walk away.
I asked Jesus how he did it! But God made him perfect and I’m not perfect! But I tried with everything I had not start a fight! Just let Clayton act a fool and just move on! I can only control myself and how I react. I prayed with all I had for God to just make this stop! I was told all weekend how I don’t take pride in anything, how I’m not smart enough to do anything and I’m not good enough! He treats Rose the same way! She feels the same way as I do. Nothing we ever do is good enough for Clayton. He finally climbed down from his high horse and what was left of the afternoon was okay. It’s just very overwhelming and no one should ever have to feel this way. I thought about 1 Peter all weekend. And begged God to help me! And I know that God heard me, because the sore on Clayton’s leg..the pain that he feels every day..was intensified! Clayton said it hurt worse than it ever has. God will take revenge for us!
Today’s devotion is from 1 John 4:19-20 ” We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.” God showed up this morning! Reminding me that no matter how people treat me that I am to love them because no matter how I treat God, he loves me! I have to forgive Clayton for his behavior. God forgives us when we ask him and he shows us love and mercy every single day! We are to love others the way Jesus and God loves us! As hard as it can sometimes! I may not be good enough for Clayton, but I”m good enough for God and that’s all that matters! You are good enough for God too!
