I stumbled across this post. It’s not mine but I wanted to share it. This really hit home for me! I want anyone who is reading this to know that there is hope, there is a way out, you are a strong person who can do anything through Christ who gives you your strength!
“When you marry a narcissistic man, you never get a chance to be a wife; instead, you take on the role of a mother because these adults behave like man-children. They go to work Monday through Friday and spend their weekends sitting in front of a laptop, t.v., downloading music, playing video games, or making messes for you to clean-up. You find yourself single and a father simultaneously, taking on the burden of responsibilities without the support of a partner.
Narcissists don’t marry for love or partnership; they marry because they want a maid, cook, secretary, banker, and a nanny.They crave control, not connection. Their selfish desires consume them, leaving you to run the household, raise the children, and satisfy their every whim. Your dreams of a loving and equal relationship are shattered, replaced by the hardship reality of servitude.
As days turn into weeks, and weeks into years, you become a shadow for your old self. Your identity is erased, replaced by the exhausting duties of handling a narcissist’s life. You obliged to sacrifice your own desires, interests and friendships to accommodate their demands. Emotional childbirth is suffocating, leaving you drained, resentful, and wondering how you ended up in this nightmare. You’re not alone in this fight. Many women have fallen prey to the charming facade of a narcissist, only to find themselves trapped in a loveless and ungrateful role. Remember you deserve better. You deserve a partner who loves, supports, and respects you.”
Again this was posted by someone else I just wanted to share it! This just hits home with me! Clayton won’t hardly even let our dogs in and out to go potty! I used to work on Saturdays so he was left cleaning the house. I honestly just quit cleaning altogether. Every spring Clayton would expect me to go out and help him get the yard cleaned up and looking nice but he wouldn’t do anything all winter long inside to help me so I just found my strength and told him that I wouldn’t step foot outside to help him if he couldn’t help me. And that’s what I did! Spring came and I kept busy inside and refused to help him.
When I took the Saturday job it forced his hand to do more inside the house. He doesn’t like a dirty home. I’m no longer working on Saturdays but Clayton has gotten so used to cleaning he just does it which is great! And I do help clean the house we actually do it together. I still can’t have friends and I keep my phone on silent because I hate being asked “who is that” every time my phone goes off. I text him and told him that Rose was coming home with some math homework and asked him to help her if she needed it ( I was still at work) and his answer was I don’t know how to do today’s math! It made me think of this this post and how he never helps 100% with Rose. And it really upset me. So I told him that he needed to start stepping up and helping out. Clayton likes to brag about how smart in math he was.
He likes to tell people how he could have taught the algebra class. I however did not do well in math at all! He does go pick her up from her after school program but only because they close at 5:30 and I’m still at work and he has complained about having to do that! He says it’s to much on him to drive across town and get her! It’s really hard and you can’t make anyone do anything they don’t want. One of the parts that gets me is how Clayton likes to brag about how well he took care of his older two kids yet Addi tells me about how they spent time a lot of time at their grandparents house or Clayton had different girls living in the house. It just shows me that he really didn’t take care of them like he says he did.
People who don’t think they mess up never change. I’m so glad I came across this post! It just confirms everything that I’ve gone through. And that I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally and emotionally tired! I hope this helps anyone who reads it! I can’t say it enough you’re NOT ALONE!
