One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 NIV
When I started working on getting my relationship with God back He knew it was time to get me back in church and Rose needed to know about God and Jesus! I begged and pleaded for Him to not send me to the church where I grew up. I just wanted a change. But God knew exactly what I needed and put me right back to where it all started for me as a child. I’m a teacher, and I teach the little ones music. Plus God put two of the most amazing women in my life.
Last night me and Elaine were talking about Rose and her attitude, she’s 10 so it’s getting crazy! Anyway, Elaine made a statement about how she thinks Clayton has resentment against me. I just looked at her stunned! Elaine said that when she’s around she can see it! And that she can see that Clayton has resentment towards Rose as well! I was just shocked! The reason I was so shocked is because I’ve told Clayton that! I’ve asked him several times in past fights why he hates me so much.
I’ve even told him that Rose feels like he hates her! When I told him that he just said ” no I don’t” and went back to his phone. It didn’t phase him one bit that his daughter feels and thinks that he hates her! I did tell Elaine that after many fights and many times asking Clayton why he hates me, he finally told me! It all started when Rose’s birth mom was still in the picture she was always trying to get money from Clayton and she was always putting me down and calling me names. And he would never defend me or tell her that he wasn’t giving her money.
Now before ya’ll say he should give her money here’s the deal, he was buying everything Rose needed! I made sure of that. She wanted the money to buy drugs. She has been an addict since she was probably a teen. So no I didn’t want him to give her money so she could get high around the baby and she would and did! So I took a stand for my man and myself and Clayton got mad at me and starting having resentment towards me because I was telling what to when it came to Rose and not letting some drug addict take advantage of my man! Which I did find out that he was sending her money through Wal-Mart!
Now ya’ll tell me how many of you would sit back and watch that? How many men would sit by and watch that happen to their lady? Which is exactly what I told him! He needed to be thankful he has a woman who had his back and wasn’t there just because he made a great living! The other reason that Clayton has resentment towards me is how close Rose and I are. He told me when she was a baby that at about 6 months old she wouldn’t want anything to do with me she’d be all about her daddy. Well she’s 10 and I’m still waiting for that! Ya’ll when I started staying at home with Rose, Clayton stopped changing diapers, feeding her, bathing her, putting her to bed.
He slowly stopped taking care of her because I was there to do it and he didn’t have to! He had to buy everything because I didn’t have a job. Now he didn’t just stop playing with her and ignoring her but building a relationship even with a baby is more than sitting on the floor or bed playing with them. As kids grow up they see who does everything for them and who doesn’t. And Rose saw that very early. I see pics of when she was learning to walk and how Clayton would walk behind her while I took pics and videos. I miss those days! He does go to her ball games and her cheer activities but he grips and complains about it. And she hears that! Which tells her that he doesn’t love her.
It’s one thing to not truly love me or care about me but it’s just not okay to act that way towards your child! I’m so very thankful God has put Elaine and Michelle in my life! That talk really helped me and inspired this post! I hope that whoever is reading this you have a friend or friends that stick close to you as a brother/sister and prays with you and you them! When you are married to a narcissist it is very hard to know who to trust! Believe me I know! I had a so called friend who every time I told her something went off and told Clayton’s friend and it turned into a fight! I had to cut that string! If you have a friend like that don’t afraid to cut that string! God will put the right person in your life! I’m going to tell you right now that God is your BEST friend above any earthly friend! I’ve learned that the hard way too! He put not just one but two amazing God fearing women in my life, but God knows that He is my true best friend!
